Greyspace...

RIP Terry Hall

 I keep thinking about selling my ring But I am not ready  I should be You let me wear it with no real desire to marry me Knowing I was a place holder You have since told me so I remember the first time I suspected something I felt so betrayed I took it off That was in 2018 We had been engaged four years at that point How could I have been such a fool Me- wondering why you were so hateful to my womanhood And still I married you two years later Divorced the next year A fool no more Love- no more Respect for you- no more Family- no more Future- no more Friends- no more And still I am not ready

 The Universe tho.. Meeting on the 22nd to go over my new position and raise Thank you. 

I am fucking hurting today Uncontrollable despair Worthlessness Waves of pain and loss Collapsing lungs Hanging on to thin air Waiting for the storm to pass Hang on D, Hang on. Breath. Fight.

I DON'T EAT SUNSHINE AND PREACH POSITIVITY. I SPEAK TRUTH. MANY TRUTHS OF REALITIES AND DESIRE. I HAVE SWALLOWED THE DARK MOMENTS SET UPON ME,  THE FILTHY OFFERINGS OF SUBSTINACE. I HAVE DEVOURED THE HATEFUL INDIFFERENCE. MY SOUL BLACKENED WITH FEAR AND MISTRUST. MY MENTAL FORTITUDE RIDDLED WITH SHAME. MY BODY MARKED AND SCARED FROM THE INJUSTICE. I DO NOT EAT BEAUTY AND LOVE. I STAND IN MY GRACE, IN MY HONESTY. HEALING AND HOLDING IN THE SPACE WHERE I AM UNAPOLAGETIC AND DELICIOUS.